A romance scam involves a criminal (or group of criminals) faking their identity to build connections with people online with the intent of eventually stealing from them. These types of scams can last for months or even years and leave the victim both financially and emotionally drained.
Romance scams are on the rise and have increasingly grown to permeate online spaces.
In our ongoing efforts to help keep our readers safe, our research team at SafetyDetectives looked into romance scam trends, who the victims are, which countries host the most romance scammers, and who is targeted most worldwide, with the ultimate goal of breaking down just how devastating romance scams can be.
How Do Romance Scams Happen?
Romance scams happen when scammers set up fake profiles on online platforms to attract victims looking for love. They lure people in with (fake) attractive profile pictures and claims of working in jobs that make them seem trustworthy, such as aid workers, military personnel, or environmental activists.
Scammers weave complex lies to gain a victim’s trust after meeting on social media websites, dating websites, or (less commonly) in real life.
Scammers build their lies to explain why they can’t visit the victim or leave their current situation. Eventually, they’ll explain why they’re in dire need of money by feigning an injury or sickness, or by pretending to need help accessing their cash or delivering an important package. Many scammers also offer enticing investment opportunities that are ultimately fake.
These scams are typically initiated after gaining the victim’s trust and can last several days, months, or, in some cases, years. Many scammers start off by asking for small amounts before slowly ramping up to larger volumes of cash.
In a study titled “The Scammers Persuasive Techniques Model,” Monica T. Whitty, PhD and co-author of over 40 research papers about human factors in cybersecurity, found that scammers take their victims through several stages before asking for money.
In the first stage – the grooming stage – the scammer may ask for a small gift to test the waters. Then, they start requesting small amounts of money, which gradually increases. Many times, a third character is included in the narrative. For instance, a “doctor” may contact the victim, claiming that their loved one (the scammer) is in the hospital, and request money for fake hospital bills.
As we’ll see in the case studies below, luring people in by feigning danger is an especially successful tactic to hook victims. Roughly 24% of romance scammers use this lie to steal from the target at least once during their interactions.
Another tactic, used by roughly 12% of romance scammers, is to push the concept of marriage. They present fake, vulnerable personal information while attempting to force the relationship to advance much faster than a relationship typically moves. This can include over-the-top declarations of love, talk about marriage, and even proposals.
The Psychological Impact of Romance Scams
Romance scams can have a significant psychological impact on victims. Unlike victims of other types of mass-marketing scams, romance scam victims experience a “double hit” – a financial loss and a loss of the relationship. According to a 2015 research article published by Whitty and Tom Buchanan, PhD, most victims were more upset by the loss of the relationship than the financial loss they experienced.
The study included 20 participants, all of whom were affected by the scam. They suffered feelings of shame, embarrassment, anger, shock, stress, worry, and fear. Some even reported a feeling of being mentally “raped.” Those who engaged in sexual acts on a webcam described the experience as sexual abuse and suffered feelings of anger and disgust as a result. Most of the participants were depressed, and some even attempted to take their own lives.
Furthermore, for most victims, the romance scam resulted in a loss of trust in others, as well as lowered self-esteem. They were also more likely to blame themselves for falling for the scam. Sharing the experience with friends and family often leads to the reinforcement of the feeling of self-blame. Only two participants reported that, in addition to the negative change, they also changed positively in the sense that they became “wiser” and “harder.”
In a 2001 research article titled “Personal Fraud: The Victims and the Scams,” authors Titus and Gover found that victims of fraud generally share some personality traits that predispose them to fall for online dating scams. They tend to be more cooperative, gullible, greedy, easily intimidated, careless, susceptible to flattery, risk-taking, generous, civically conscientious, and respectful of authority.
Who Is Targeted by Romance Scams?
Romance scams can affect anyone of any demographic. That said, certain groups of people are at a higher risk of a romance scam.
The Elderly
The elderly are the most exposed of any demographic worldwide and often overlap with other vulnerable groups. The Australian National Anti-Scam Centre found that, from 2021 to 2023, Australians over 65 lost nearly $33 million to romance scams, more than any other age group, although not by much. By comparison, 55-64 year olds lost slightly less at $32.6 million during that time period, but numbers decline further with decreasing age.
Although the US doesn’t collect data on romance scams by age, the numbers about internet scams in general paint a similar picture – the 60+ age group is the most affected, with $9.1 billion lost to internet scams, more than any other age group.
This trend exists within countries like the US and Australia but doesn’t appear universally. For example, in the United Kingdom, younger people are likely to be victims. According to a Social Catfish study, the number of UK teens and young adults who have fallen victim to romance scams is 53% higher than the number of older victims, with 3,282 victims aged 10-39 compared to only 2,144 victims aged 60-89.
Widows and Widowers
While no specific number is associated with widows and widowers, scammers are known to focus on people who are looking to make a new connection. A survey of widows commissioned by Chapter 2 – a dating app for widows – found that widows and widowers often avoid using traditional dating apps for fear of being scammed. Several of the survey respondents reported falling victim to an online fraudster before and said they feel like easy targets for being widows.
Young People With Limited Dating Experience
While people aged 0-18 and 18-24 are only reported about 1/15th as much as other age brackets, romance scammers still target them. These victims are often the target of sextortion instead of long-term romance scams. Once the scammer obtains personal photographs of the victim, they extort them by threatening to leak the photos to friends and family.
Where Are the Criminals Located?
Romance scammers can work effectively from anywhere with an internet connection, including from their mobile phones. Compiling a definitive list of the countries where they are located is further made challenging due to a lack of reporting and data collection limitations.
To find consistencies, we looked at two different studies – a 2017 research study on the geographic origins of dating fraud conducted by Dr. Guillermo Suarez-Tangil et al., and a 2020 TechShielder study on the countries that have been reported for catfishing scams the most and the average amount of money stolen.
Looking at the data, a few countries are featured in both studies, from which we concluded that scammers consistently use these as a base of operations. They are:
- The Philippines
- Nigeria
- The United Kingdom (UK)
- Turkey
- Ghana
- The Republic of Côte d’Ivoire (Ivory Coast)
- South Africa
Where Do Criminals Find Romance Scam Victims?
Finding exact numbers on how different countries are affected by romance scams is difficult, as most countries worldwide don’t collect this data. We can only share the data of those countries that do – the US, the UK, Canada, and Australia. Wealthy English-speaking countries are consistently also the most targeted by romance scammers, with the highest number in terms of both reports and losses.
Out of these countries, the US recorded the highest number of romance scam victims in 2023, with $652 million lost and a total of 17,823 reported cases. Australia comes next, with 3,652 reports and $33 million lost. Canadians lost $5 million to romance scams. In 2022, the United Kingdom had $38 million in losses and 3,649 reported cases.
The 2023 Norton Cyber Safety Insights Report looked into the share of adults in eight countries who experienced an online dating scam between November and December 2022. According to the report, out of 7,021 adults who were surveyed in Australia, France, Germany, India, Japan, New Zealand, and the United Kingdom, the incidence of romance scams was the highest in India, with 66% of Indian respondents stating they’ve experienced at least one dating scam.
25% of those surveyed in France, the US, and New Zealand reported the same. In Australia, Germany, and the UK, 22% of respondents said they’ve fallen victim to a romance scam. Japan had the fewest romance scam reports, with only 10% of surveyed participants.
While the common perception is that romance scams are most prevalent on dating apps like Tinder, the majority of romance scams start through social media. According to the FTC, 40% of victims reported that the scam began through social media websites. Of those reports, 29% started on Instagram and 28% began on Facebook.
Another 19% report that it began on a dating app such as Tinder. Many victims reported that, after the initial contact, the conversation moved to WhatsApp, Telegram, or Google Chat.
Scammers will also reach out via text, phone, email, and even (rarely) through conventional mail. According to Scamwatch, in 2022, Australians lost $3,922,128 from those four methods combined, a number that rose to $4,813,230 in 2023. Even though some of these methods may seem outdated, people should beware that they are still used widely by scammers.
Understanding Romance Scammers: 4 Case Studies and What We Can Learn From Them
1. The Tinder Swindler
“The Tinder Swindler” became one of the world’s most famous romance scammers after Netflix released a popular documentary on his Ponzi scheme of crimes. Though his birth name was Shimon Hayut, he changed his name to Simon Leviev in order to fake being the son of the wealthy billionaire Lev Leviev. He also used this name to escape Finland after being arrested for multiple counts of fraud.
After escaping the country, Simon approached targets on Tinder while acting as if he were a billionaire. He’d make his play after spending months building relationships with his victims and promising them a future together where he’d take care of their financial problems.
After building the relationship, Simon would pretend he was in imminent danger while sending a video of his bodyguard bleeding out. He’d beg his targets for assistance and to send him credit cards under a different name or cash to deal with the emergency, promising to pay them back. He’d take the money and use it to fuel his lavish lifestyle.
Since the women he communicated with believed it was a real relationship and that Simon had the money to repay them, many would take loans to send large amounts of cash and fresh credit cards. One woman even sent an entire suitcase full of cash.
Simon would also meet his victims in real life, such as when he met a woman in London but claimed he couldn’t go back because too many people were hunting him.
By repeatedly running this scam in countries like Britain, Sweden, and Norway, Simon stole a total of $10 million.
In the end, Simon was caught using a forged passport in Greece and sent back to Finland, where he served an additional two years (as well as 15 months in Israel for previous crimes he committed there).
This demonstrates the lengths romance scammers are willing to go to deceive their targets. The scammer changed his name, faked being the son of a billionaire, spent months building relationships with women, preyed on those who craved financial stability, and ultimately exploited them by pretending to be in imminent danger to scare his victims into sending as much as they could to help.
Even if a scammer’s story is exceptionally compelling, Simon Leviev shows us that you should never send money to a stranger.
2. Eric Cole
Eric Cole is a pseudonym for an anonymous Nigerian scam artist who conned Deborah Montgomery Johnson out of more than $1 million. One day, the criminal confessed their guilt to Deborah. “Eric Cole” is likely not an individual but a syndicate of scammers working together to con victims. While only one of the group confessed their guilt, Deborah is convinced that it was a full team.
Eric connected with Deborah through a dating platform called LDS Planet. She was widowed at the time and displayed it on her dating profile, which unfortunately drew the scammer’s attention. They took advantage of Deborah while she was grieving. According to her, they spoke every day for over two years, having long, detailed conversations that lasted long into the night.
Deborah sent the scammer photos of herself and her family and confided her deepest emotions to him. She stated it was the only thing that comforted her after her husband’s death.
“That would be the only time to release the emotions I had of him dying” – Deborah Johnson discussing interactions with her scammer.
The scamming process started small. At first, Eric would ask for small increments of cash at a time for simple things like living expenses, food, and hotels.
As time went on, the requests became gradually more demanding, such as “legal fees” worth thousands of dollars. Eventually, the victim began selling jewelry and clothing, taking loans out, and at one point even borrowing over $100,000 from her father.
In the end, Deborah lost her entire life savings and even owed the IRS $50,000. The scammer finally came forth out of guilt, asking for forgiveness before disappearing.
It’s a tragic story with no happy ending, demonstrating the importance of watching what you share online. Criminals will manipulate any personal information on you that they can find, making it dangerous to post about recent tragedies online, such as recently becoming widowed.
3. Frederick Diji and Raquel Johnson
Frederick Diji and Raquel Johnson were a London-based career scamming duo who operated from 2005 to 2021. While they mostly targeted elderly gay men, several of the victims were younger or believed they were talking to women.
The duo would connect with their victims using fake profiles on online dating websites to trick victims into believing they were in a legitimate relationship. Afterward, they’d begin asking for money using a broad range of stories.
They told one victim that their mother was abroad and deathly ill. After collecting money to pay for treatment, they claimed their mother died, and they needed more money to retrieve her body and set up a funeral. Another story they regularly used was that they were coming to visit the victim but were stuck in Dutch customs.
One of their victims was reported to have been in a 14-year-long romance scam that resulted in the loss of more than £100,000.
Official police reports initially stated that the couple stole roughly £200,000, but further evidence suggests that they laundered over £400,000 through several bank accounts. Out of 179 victims throughout the years, more than 80 were of romance scams.
The duo was sentenced in 2022. Frederick pleaded guilty to conspiracy to defraud, concealing criminal property, and possession of an identification document for improper means and is currently serving an eight-year sentence.
Raquel pleaded guilty to one count of money laundering and is serving a three-year and nine-month sentence.
The duo went to outrageous lengths to keep their scams going for nearly two decades, reinforcing the idea that you should never send money to someone you met online, even if you’ve known them for a long time.
4. Chinagorom Onwumere and Salma Abdalkareem
Chinagorom Onwumere and Salma Abdalkareem were criminal associates from New Jersey who siphoned the life savings from an elderly man, possibly contributing to his suicide. The couple posed as a well-known celebrity and reached out to the man through a dating app.
After spending several weeks talking, the scammers eventually encouraged their victims to exchange pictures and personal information.
However, instead of pretending to need money or creating a story, the scammers pretended to be from the FBI. They told the victim that he was being accused of harassment and needed to pay legal fees. Scared of what would happen if he didn’t send the money, the old man sent the New Jersey couple an envelope containing $4,500. The scam continued, with each new request involving larger requests.
Eventually, the scammers stole their victim’s entire life savings of roughly $100,000. After finding out he’d been scammed and couldn’t be helped, he took his own life in October 2023.
The scammers were arrested and transported to Tennessee to face conviction.
What Are the Most Common Types of Romance Scams?
There is no one “romance scam.” Rather, romance scammers use many of the same tools as other scammers but use romance as a way to gain and weaponize their victim’s trust. Romance scammers also use a number of schemes that are unique to romance scams, and that can be particularly painful to their victims. One scam may involve multiple modes of attack, so you should be on the lookout for all of them.
Sextortion
Sextortion occurs when a scammer threatens to share your private and sensitive material online or distribute it to your family and friends unless a financial payment is made. Scammers tempt the victim to send a nude photo, perform an explicit activity over video, or expose parts of their body on a webcam. Between August 2022 and August 2023, there were 812 reports of sextortion per week in the US, according to Thorn and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC).
Investment Scams
Investment scams occur when romance scammers pressure their victims into fake investment opportunities, often involving cryptocurrency. Scammers pretend to be wealthy individuals looking for love, while also pitching tempting investment opportunities. This type of romance scam is also known as “pig butchering,” as victims’ investment accounts are fattened up before draining, resembling a pig before slaughter. In 2023, the IC3 received 39,570 investment scam complaints, resulting in losses of over $4.5 billion.
Catfishing
Most romance scams involve catfishing – the act of stealing images and personal information, usually from legitimate profiles, and using them to create a fake online persona. According to a January 2022 Statista survey, 20% of millennials have interacted with a catfish online, and 18% of Generation Z stated the same. In its 2023 Internet Crime Report, the IC3 revealed that catfishing victims in the United States lost over $652 million to this type of scam.
Matrimonial (Dating) Scam
In matrimonial or dating scams, fraudsters create fake profiles on dating apps to exploit their victims emotionally and financially. These types of scams happen on matrimonial sites, a variation of dating websites that are particularly popular in India and among Indians living overseas, where arranged marriages are still fairly common. Around two-thirds (66%) of Indian adults have experienced a romance scam, losing an average of Rs 7,966.
Mail-Order Bride Scam
In mail-order bride scams (also known as the Boris and Natasha scam), fraudsters target lonely bachelors looking for foreign brides. They typically use fake accounts to seek out wealthy men from Western countries and pretend to be women willing to marry them. Once they have their victim’s trust, the scammer asks the man to send money under the pretext of purchasing an airplane ticket or applying for a visa.
Celebrity Romance Scams
In celebrity romance scams, fraudsters pretend to be celebrities on social media and convince victims they’re interested in pursuing a romantic relationship. One reported case is that of a Houston man who pretended to be Bruno Mars and scammed a 63-year-old Texan woman out of $100,000. The fake Instagram profile convinced the woman of its authenticity by sending her a number of texts and tour photos, eventually asking for a $10,000 check for “tour expenses,” and two days later asking for $90,000.
Military Romance Scams
In military romance scams, fraudsters claim to be military personnel stationed overseas. They often ask for money to apply for a leave request to meet the person they’re trying to deceive. In one case, Bryan Denney, a husband, father, and veteran, received a LinkedIn message in which a girl accused him of stealing money. She informed him that she sent money to a person using his photos but that he never showed up. To his surprise, Bryan discovered thousands of online profiles with his name and image that scammers were using to deceive people.
One form of military scam that has gained popularity recently is that of scammers pretending to be US troops deployed to Ukraine. Scammers ask victims for care packages by wiring money through a fake military website that looks official.
Inheritance Scams
Inheritance romance scams involve a fraudster tricking a victim into believing they are an heir to a large inheritance. The scammer convinces the victim that they need to pay a large sum of money to claim the inheritance, but cannot currently afford it. Due to being in a long-term relationship, the scammer implies that the victim will benefit from the inheritance with them.
In 2022, the Federal Trade Commission received 2,762 reports of foreign money and inheritance scams, an increase from 2,447 the previous year.
Geopolitical (Strategic) Scams
In November 2023, the Israel Defense Force launched a campaign to warn its soldiers about a group of Hamas supporters who use fake social media profiles to steal information from Israel Defense Forces soldiers. The scammers pose as attractive women who befriend the soldiers on Facebook and start a romantic relationship with them. Their goal is to lure the soldiers into downloading spyware that gives Hamas full access to their smartphones.
Long-Distance Romance Scams
Long-distance romance scams involve the scammer telling the victim lies such as “I work at an oil rig” or “I’m in the military.” Often they pretend that they live near you and will be back soon. It should be an immediate red flag if you meet someone who claims to live near you but works overseas, especially if they ask for money.
Code Verification Scams
Code verification scams usually happen on Tinder, where the scammer sends the victim a third-party link to verify their account. Once the victim clicks on the link, they are asked to share personal information like their name, address, phone number, Social Security Number, email, and even their bank account or credit card details.
Malware Scams
In malware scams, the scammer sends the victim a link to a website that may look legitimate but contains malicious software. The malware steals the victim’s personal information, which may lead to identity theft and financial fraud.
Are Romance Scams Outpacing Other Types of Scams?
Romance scams aren’t the fastest-growing type of scam, but they are rapidly growing.
A Data Spotlight Report from the FTC shows that, from 2017 to 2022, people in the US lost $1.3 billion to romance scams, more than any other FTC category, making them one of the most profitable and fastest-growing types of scams in the country. That said, phishing scams have continued to outpace romance scams, which have seen the number of observed attacks growing roughly 150% year over year since 2019.
While losses due to romance scams peaked in the US in 2021, decreasing slightly in 2022 and 2023, the number of attacks is still high. The median loss is $4,400, versus the median cost of the average scam being around $500 per person. This makes romance scams one of the most lucrative types of small-scale scams, explaining the sharp rise over the past five years.
Unfortunately, many countries don’t keep (or don’t reveal) detailed reports about romance scam victims. However, the trends we see are concerning. In the US, money lost to romance scams rose by 52% from 2019 to 2020 and an additional 78% from 2020 to 2021. While the overall amount of money lost decreased from 2021 to 2022, the overall number of attacks is up. The general consensus among experts is that this trend will continue into the foreseeable future.
In Australia, the amount of money lost to romance scams has been on the decrease in the last three years, with a total of $56 million lost in 2021, $40 million in 2022, and $33 million in 2023, when there were a total of 3,431 reported cases.
However, in Canada, the amount of money and the number of reports seems to be on the rise. In 2020, Canadians lost nearly CAD 28 million in 1,546 reports. Losses more than doubled in 2021, with the CAFC recording CAD 64.6 million lost in 1,928 reports. In 2023, romance scams cost 945 victims more than CAD 50 million.
In the UK, the NFIB received 8,036 reports of romance fraud in 2022, with losses amounting to £92 million. This marks a 6.7% decrease compared to 8,710 reported cases the year before.
The COVID-19 epidemic is credited with sparking the massive increase in romance scams; however, attacks per year have been rapidly rising since 2017. According to UK Finance, there was a 20% increase in bank transfer fraud linked to romance scams in 2020 compared to 2019.
The FTC’s findings also suggest a correlation between COVID-19 and the increase in romance scam cases. In 2020, the reported losses for romance fraud reached a record $304 million, which is a 50% increase compared to 2019.
I Get It, They’re Dangerous, but How Do I Protect Myself From Romance Scams?
Be Careful About What You Share Online
Limiting the sensitive information that you share with strangers is the #1 way to avoid romance scams. The first step is to change all of your social media settings to only allow your followers to see posts. While staying completely anonymous online is almost impossible, you still need to be careful where and with whom you share confidential info.
Once a criminal learns private details about you, such as tragedies, emotional problems, traumas, or even accomplishments, they will use these against you. They’ll attempt to force a relationship by appealing to whatever you shared with them. For example, if you recently lost a child, they may feign also losing a child.
Never tell a stranger your job, home address, sensitive information, family members’ names, or other details they could use to learn who you are.
If you’re on a dating app, posting that you’re “single” instead of “widowed” is much safer.
You should limit not only sensitive personal information but also sexual content. Explicit content gives criminals leverage against you. Romance scams can occasionally turn into dangerous blackmail situations the moment you share content.
Don’t Send Money to Someone You Met Online or Haven’t Known Long
Under no circumstances should you send money to someone that you recently met, especially if it’s online. Criminals prey on emotions to lure victims into sending as much money as possible.
They’ll entice you with promising investment rewards that are too good to be true, or they’ll create complicated and sympathetic stories that encourage you to help them.
As a rule of thumb, never send money to someone you meet online.
Research Potential Dates
This tip comes with a major caveat. In the past, researching a date was by far the easiest way to verify someone’s identity. Reverse Google searching images of them, looking at social media accounts, and cross-referencing details they gave you about where they lived with facts were all extremely reliable methods of finding out if a persona was fake.
However, the rapid advancement of AI has made this tip much less reliable. Anyone can use AI to create fake social media accounts, fake pictures, and even fake videos that make the persona look real. AI can also be used to hide images from reverse image search, which is often why the victim convinces themselves the person they’re talking to is telling the truth.
With the integration of ChatGPT into Tinder, Bumble, and several other dating platforms, it is now more difficult than ever to tell whether the person you’re talking to is real or AI-generated. This new tool, dubbed LoveGPT, combines OpenAI’s ChatGPT with existing technology, making it possible to create fake accounts and profile pictures, bypass security measures, and even interact with potential matches.
In the same vein, don’t trust celebrity or model accounts reaching out to you to form a relationship, as these are almost always fake.
You should still research potential dates, as this tip can still be helpful in some situations, but it’s no longer the de facto way to prove someone is who they say they are. With the advancement of AI in romance scams, the only way to be absolutely sure that someone is who they say they are is to meet them in person.
Trust Your Gut
If you’ve recently met someone and you feel that something is off about them or they’re trying to move too quickly, trust your gut. Scammers prey on people’s trust and goodwill, and they hope you ignore the red flags. Ultimately, their only goal is to steal your money, and they’ll lie about anything to get it. Don’t be afraid to cut contact with people who are making you uncomfortable, especially if you meet them online.
Conclusion
Romance scams involve a scammer lying to a victim by using a fake profile, fake backstory, or a complex web of lies to gain their trust and steal their money. These types of scams have seen a sharp rise since at least 2016 and have one of the highest median costs per person of any scam.
Anyone can be the victim of a scam. Even though it’s commonly believed that scammers mostly target the elderly, people aged 35-65 see a higher chance of being targeted than someone aged 65+. Citizens in India, the US, Australia, Canada, and other first-world countries are highly likely to be targeted by romance scams regardless of age.
Rather than targeting age, many scammers will focus on finding someone posting about recent traumas, such as the loss of a child or significant other, so they can manipulate them more easily. Romance scammers will trick their victims by using every detail that they can.
You can protect yourself, but it requires constant vigilance. Research and properly vet people you meet online, and avoid sending personal information to someone you meet online. As a rule of thumb, never send large amounts of money to someone, whether you meet them online or in person. As we saw with The Tinder Swindler, romance scammers may still meet you in person to be more convincing.
Trust your gut and stand your ground if the scammer is acting desperate for money or they’re trying to guilt you. Be ready to cut them out of your life after this behavior starts, even if it feels heart-wrenching at the time. Also, consider speaking about this with people close to you in case you’re unsure. Remember that feeling uncomfortable now can save you from financial ruin and even more heartbreak.